#SH with Shakeyna Lumsden
Hi Shakeyna, can you introduce yourself to us?
Sure thing. My name is Shakeyna, but I prefer Shea. I am a Certified Massage Therapist and I am also a Practicing Reiki therapist. I am 40 years old with a 13 year old son. Currently, I have not been focusing so much on massage per say, but more on Reiki and my body care products as well as my spiritual care products. In the past few months I have considered becoming a life coach. In more recent energy I am looking forward to teaching a physical class to help women empower themselves in a physical manner per say.
Can you take us through your self-love journey to where you are now?
Omg my self-love journey has been up and down, round and around. I have loved it, hated it, and loved and hated it all at one time sometimes. Overall my Self-Love journey has been a mixture of me getting to know myself as is; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the hidden all at one time. At one point I really thought I was losing it because this could not be the reality that I created in my life. The fact that I wasn't taking as much accountability as I should have been and accepting that I was just bullshitting myself and others was a whole new reality that I was not ready to face. There had been so much self-sabotage that I just quit trying to count. Truthfully, a lot of the time I felt like I was losing my mind and I didn't like it. I went through a lot of depression and self-reflection. I can not reiterate enough how much I DID Not Like The Process! I felt like I was losing my mind because I was. I was literally losing my mind, my way of thinking, my way of learning, my way of listening, my way of understanding and it was a painful struggle. People think that self-love and self-care comes easy, but it really doesn't.
Like my journey right now for instance, right now I'm going through yet another rebirth, as in I'm doing more Shadow Work in order to go to the next level in my life. The self-love journey is actually never over. I think I should say that again for the people who speed read/listen. The Self-Love Journey is Never Over! It just continues to evolve as you elevate. I found myself crying the other day to my Soul Sistar and I said to her "Nobody Likes Me!"
She said "What? are you talking about? People love you! You are beautiful not just on the outside but you are beautiful and pure on the inside. You are fucking Gorgeous! People are drawn to you naturally because you ELUDE LOVE. Don't you let whatever that is in your head tell you that you're not!" Then I said through my tears, "but no Mannnnnnn Likes me".
She said "Are you fucking kidding me? They just don't know what to do with you. You are too much for them. Stop dealing with these Low-Vibrational Men! They are never going to understand you. You are feeling this way because you are bringing yourself down for them!"
She was right. I was looking beautiful, had dressed up, done my hair, and applied my make-up because playing dress up is my thing when I’m l trying to cheer myself up. I told her I was going to the Pier, on the water to release. It was on the 11th of this month, September and the Full moon was still up. I walked and looked and recorded myself and released all of that tension and wrote one letter to the moon. Saying that I release all self Sabotaging behaviors and I embrace a healthy journey one day at a time.
So where am I? I'm at the beginning of another level of Self-love. Now I have to see why I desire attention from men whom I know that I wouldn't see a future with. Ouch and ewwww on me. What I have realized thus far is that it's not that no mannnnn or nobody likes me. My problem is that at times I don't like myself.
I don't like myself when I give a part of me to people who don't deserve me. I feel like doing that is a sin against myself and it makes me feel ashamed and sad that I disappointed myself again, by going backwards. I thought I was beyond that but I guess not. I needed some attention and instead of paying attention to myself I tried to outsource it and that is where I made my mistake. I'm in the shadow now, or the cocoon shall I say. I’m becoming the butterfly that I am meant to be, yet rising as a Phoenix out of the Ashes every time I overcome and embrace a new truth that sends me into true elevation.
What are some of your favorite self-love + self-care practices?
My most Favorite Self-Care/ Love practices are my personal self love baths and protection baths. I soak, I bathe, I emerge myself in the water, and leave all of my tension, stress, and self doubt in the water. I also love Rain Cleansing. OMG, to go out in the "Pure" rain and just be saturated is the easiest way to cleanse your mind, body, and spirit all at the same time. You can cry and nobody will see your tears, yet they will be comforted and kissed away by the Orisha Oya Herself. It's like a rebirth, a lifting of spirits, and a release of whatever is holding you down. I think everyone should try it at some point in their lives. Oh! and music therapy mmmmm just loving myself through song and dance, moving my hips, eluding my sensuality, and celebrating me for the Goddess that I am, without apology. I don't need approval because I love my Damn self and no one can do anything about it.
What are you most proud of so far in your journey? What have you overcome that you used to struggle with?
So I'm most proud of myself for having those ok moments and taking accountability moments. To be honest I have mastered taking accountability. However, taking accountability for peace, life, and circumstances is a two-edged sword. I hold myself accountable, but I also use a magnifying glass on myself.
That's where the, “ And That's Ok”, comes from. I have to tell myself things like “one day at a time” and “As long as you're doing your best you're fine”. The problem is when I know that I'm not doing my best and have to face myself with an explanation of why. Accountability is a Monster and it scares me as well as frees me at the same time.
How would you like your self-love journey to inspire other people?
I want to inspire everyone to know that they can create their own peace and the only way that it can be disrupted is if they allow it to be. I want everyone to know that there is no perfect Self-Love journey. There's gonna be ups and downs and downs and downs and some more ups on the road to self discovery. The "Shadow" work is simply facing yourself as is and accepting every part of you that makes you you. You must be broken in order to see what parts to keep and what parts not to discard completely, because that part made you you, but more like put it on reserve , in order for you to become the best, not perfect, but best version of yourself. Ase'
What is your favorite gift that you have given yourself? How about one that you’ve received from someone else?
My best gift to myself was Valentine's Day about 4 years ago. I treated myself to Babyface and Keith Sweat concerts at the Fox Theater in Atlanta, GA. I bought a ticket to the Markee Club so I could have a laid-back experience. I was beautiful and eluding love and peace. Even though I had just lost my job; I was like I'm not going to be sad because it was a form of bondage to me and I had outgrown my position . So I was celebrating and looking good while doing it. Found out you really, really, didn't have any friends at work lol.
The best gift given to me was my first concert tickets to see Lyfe Jennings, Anthony Hamilton, and Fantasia. Omg I thought Lyfe and Anthony would be laid back, but no, they were both amazing and Fantasia performed for about 2 hours all by herself! I was drunk off the energy, to this day, I still think about that night and how I was alone, but ok with it until I had to drive myself home super tired lol. Luckily my aunt and uncle stayed right down the street. We were in Macon and my mom was tripping about keeping my son, knowing that we came to Macon specifically for me to go to the concert. It was my birthday gift. Ok, that was a trigger lol. See this interview is keeping me in my feelings and realities.
Have you ever gone on a date with yourself? If yes, what was your favorite experience? If not, what would you like to do?
Absolutely! At this point, I know that I am a professional Self-Dater. I spare no expense on myself because I don't want to go on a date with anyone who puts a limit on me when I don't put limits on me when I’m treating myself. Sure I am reasonable when dating myself and others, but I refuse to date someone who invites me out and then gives me like a $50 dinner limit. I mean I love to have an appetizer, dinner, and dessert, and that's just dinner. I also like to go to concerts and on Road trips. My favorite date with myself was the concert above. I spared no expense on myself and had a wonderful time. I had a whole vibe at the concert, the best date to this day. Also, I set the standard on concerts, No concert Marquie club (lounge) no date to that concert venue. I mean everything doesn't have to be luxurious, I love dates to the pier and simple dinners at home eating crabs and getting our hands dirty or cooking together while watching some good TV or just going to an adult lounge to dance or a poetry house. However, it must be well thought out and intentional.
What is one major change that you made in your life that has affected you most positively?
My Major change and my hardest change are one in the same. Personal accountability is the major change that has affected me the most in a positive manner. This is a change that I took kicking and screaming and crying and kicking and screaming and crying some more. Oh and just in case I did not say it enough; Kicking and SCREAMING AND CRYING SOME MORE. It was so hard for me to take accountability for things that have happened in my life that I could have controlled. Taking accountability for allowing people to treat me in a manner that I would never treat myself and then being upset that they treated me in the manner that I basically, told them well, actually showed them, through my actions; that I was ok being treated that way.
What are you currently struggling with that you could use more assistance or practice with to improve?
My struggle is staying on task. I need help focusing on the task at hand. I can get it done if I can stay focused. Also, I struggle with Tier 2 boundaries in my relationships with the opposite sex. I can set boundaries with them, but at the point that I am in an aroused state and want to be in the company of a man,, I will personally bypass those boundaries in order to satisfy my desire. One thing I noticed is that creative people tend to be more passionate and that passion boils over to their sensuality. The only thing that helps me besides eating, is creating products, writing, doing online videos, working on my trees, singing, dancing and things of that nature. So these are areas that I definitely need help in. Oh and emotional shopping for food or clothes lol.
What are you most looking forward to in your future?
I am most looking forward to going to Africa in August of 2023. I have finally gone to get my passport and I am super excited. As I say in my African voice, "When I return do not speak to me Sir... I am International now. If you cannot fly me to my home country; you may not speak to me lol"
What is your favorite part of your morning ritual?
My favorite part of my morning ritual is showing gratitude. Just in the last month I switched up the way that I open my mornings. I used to play the Jabez Prayer by Donald Lawrence and the Tri City Singers. (the Jabez Prayer says : Oh Lord if you would Bless me indeed, Enlarge my Territory, and keep your hands upon me so that I do not cause pain). However, spirit moved me to start showing Gratitude for what I have before making requests for what I want and need.
I will tell you this, my whole world has shifted. My faith has been restored in a way that lets me know that my faith had been shaken as a whole without me realizing it. Now my routine is playing Grateful by Hezekiah Walker, God Favored Me, by the him as well,, Make me over Again by Tonex, sometimes Every Praise is to our God by Hezekiah Walker, (if I am feeling that I have been self-sabotaging I will play Deliver Me aka This is my Exodus by Donald Lawrence Featuring Le'Andria Johnson), and then I play The Jabez Prayer. OH Yeah! Today's Gonna be a Good Day is the C King Good Day Anthem that’s off of TikTok, but I play it from YouTube over and over and over again for about 15-30 minutes. Bonus song: Better by Jessica Reedy, thank me later and be prepared for an emotional release if you are ready and receptive to it. All of this has shifted my life in a way that I could not imagine. Things that were held up have been coming through with what I thought and more. I am being more trusting of God, My Ancestors, my Orishas, and the Universe. Also right now that in-order for me to trust anyone in any state I must first trust my spiritual side. But, that is another conversation.
What is your favorite part of your evening ritual?
My evening ritual is really not set up completely. However, in the evening, I look forward to turning off my light, putting on some type of meditation sounds/music or affirmations and actually resting, vs sleeping without rest. I notice the difference in my tiredness during the daytime now. I will say this one thing I do at night is reflect, in my mind, on what happened during the day and I also think about what I plan on doing the next day. If I’m being really good I’ll write it down. I’m working on that.
What would your ideal wellness ritual look and feel like?
My Ideal wellness ritual would be me waking up in the morning in between 4:30 and 5:00AM. Next I would drink at least 8oz of water, take my vitamin supplements, and dip my face in a bowl of Ice water to reset my Nervous System. I’d listen to my morning guided meditation for about 5 minutes and Sit in front of the mirror and say my affirmations. Do a 10 min Yoga Stretch and then a 15 min in-home mile walk or cardio. Continue intermediate fasting until about 2:00 pm. Later in the day 30 -45 workout at home or gym. I would make sure that I have had at least half my body weight in water since I'm still working on weight loss, no weight Release (anything you lose can be returned or found) Journey. Eat in-between the hours of 2:00 pm and 8:00 pm. Eat clean, no sugars, sodas, fried, or fast food. I would do a water fast on Wednesdays for spiritual purposes and only eat meat 2-3 times a week and when I do it would be seafood. Lastly 5 min Yoga routine at night.
What tools/resources do you currently use to improve your life?
Currently I useGod, My Benevolent Spirit Guides, My Benevolent Ancestors, the Universe, My Benevolent Friends, my doctor to a certain extent, the app Lose it, YouTube, You, articles online that I search out and my gut feelings from within.
If you met your future self today, what would you be most excited to talk with them about?
I would love to talk to my future self about our speech and experience at A-Fest. How was it Meeting Lisa Nichols in person and did O’Shea enjoy herself while accompanying you? How's Baby Girl and how in the world did you get James on the right track to be so successful? How did you receive love and how is that working out for you? How is the AirBNB doing in Africa? Is it finally legal to have a husband in each region? No, but seriously how does it feel to be free with a quiet mind? How does it feel to truly love yourself and be a mogul? How did it feel the first time you became a best selling author? Oh, and how the hell did he deal with you when you tried your best to shake him. It's so much more, but these are a few. One more, how did it feel when the doctor told you you no longer had diabetes and that you were no longer considered obese. You look amazing! Thank you for going through the transition for us.
What improvements would you like to see within the self-love culture?
I would like to see more people do their Shadow work. I say this in a sense of wanting them to embrace their shadow vs letting it completely go. Without it you are incomplete. There are parts of your shadow that you need in order to be successful. I have noticed a lot of people in the community are still treating their shadow as the enemy when it's not. Your shadow is simply that part of yourself that you don't want others to see. These are parts of yourself that you don't want to embrace, however the longer you take to embrace them, the longer it will take to truly heal and come out of depression which is nothing more than suppression of your, full true self. The shadow also holds you accountable for who you are and your part in your life situations. Facing this vs dismissing it will make all of the difference.
What, if anything, would you like to promote in your interview feature? (This can be a business, brand, message, etc.) Please share any relevant links.*
I would like to promote my Multivitamin Supplements , My Personalized or group Release sessions to clear your mind, body and spirit, my “Romancing Me" Self-Love course, and my 3 Tier Sensual Fellatio courses for groups, individuals, or couples.
What does Self Honeymoon mean to you?
Self Honeymoon means a restart, a refresh, a reboot, a celebration of me accomplishing some self love goals. It is a time for me to breathe and get routines back in order, celebrate my accomplishments and set new goals both minor and major, even though both are just as important if I am to become successful. When I think about Self Honeymoon I see everyone coming together at a resort on an Island and celebrating each other. Having an awards ceremony for Macro and Micro accomplishments, dressing up as the Goddesses that we are and speaking life into each other. We will also enjoy the luxuries and rewards for our labor. This will show us what's to come or to enhance what we already have. Self Honeymoon is simply the Honeymoon without the wedding to a romantic partner, but a wedding to yourself in preparation for a partner if that is what you like, a rejuvenation if you already have one, or just a full embracing of yourself if that is What you like.
